The Good, the Bad, and the Pimply
By Aoife Broad
My skin is cleansed, toned, moisturized, primed… All before the makeup begins. Spots are covered with an initial layer of concealer, foundation. Things aren’t looking great.
More concealer. More foundation.
Contour, bronzer, blush, eyebrows, liner, and lips. And... Set.
The makeup makes the bumps look worse.
I’ve wiped off my face before a night’s even begun, and sat down on the couch knitting instead. These spots make me feel isolated. I’m almost 23. Most of my friends left their acne behind in their teenage years. I’m scared of meeting new people. After all, you only get 27 seconds to make a first impression.
It seems short on paper, but in real life, not so much. 27 seconds is a long time. It’s long enough to figure out if someone is friendly, if they smell nice, if they look clean.
Right now, my skin is in a state; and I worry about meeting someone new, let alone spending time with people I love.
Despite affecting 12% to 22% of adult women, acne isn’t considered normal at all.
In fact, a study on the stigma related to the skin condition, directed by Dr. Alexa Boer Kimball, professor of dermatology at Harvard Medical School, found that:
67% of participants would feel ashamed if they had acne
67% would find someone unattractive if they had acne
41% did not want to be seen in public with someone with acne
44% felt uncomfortable touching someone with acne.
So setting foot out the door can be a little scary, knowing that the facts support your worst fears. In part, these statistics might be down to some common misconceptions about acne. Many people think that it’s caused by poor hygiene, or that it’s infectious.
And actually, it’s pretty common. For the last few months, my acne has made me feel unattractive, embarrassed, and self-conscious.
I’m nervous about hanging out with my friends. Playing pool, running, climbing, going to the pub. I love their company, but I’m terrified they’ll see my skin.
I’m scared of new people, and that they won’t be able to see past the spots. Leaving the house has become a serious task. Think Cassie’s cooked 4:00 am skin routine, to a T.
One of the few things that have helped, is the rising acne acceptance movement on social media. Essentially people, predominantly women, share unfiltered glimpses into their experiences with acne, how it’s made them feel, and how all-consuming the disorder can become.
I used to get annoyed at pictures of celebrities posting their acne flare-ups. Not at the photos themselves, but at how rare they were. How the captions affirmed that acne was something not desirable, something to be worked through, something to be ashamed of.
I have a slightly different opinion now.
I’m mindful that, whether it’s a couple of spots or a face filled with green pustules, it can knock people’s confidence entirely, regardless of the size of the blemish.
So, with so many people dealing with acne… Why is it not talked about more often?
When it is talked about, it’s in passing. It’s an apology: Sorry, my skin’s bad today!
Acne is not something to apologize about.
And while not everyone has it, it’s normal enough not to be ashamed about it. If it is talked about, it’s often in response to unsolicited advice; from strangers, family, and even friends. It should be talked about, definitely, but in a way that comes from a place of support, as opposed to criticism.
Recently, I’ve started a course of Oratane (a strand of Accutane). It’s a strong acne treatment, taken as a pill each day. I’m two weeks in, and my skin has never been worse, but I’m beginning to feel better about both my skin and myself.
For the first time in a long time there’s a bit of a light at the end of this tunnel.
It comes with a lot of side effects. There’s a fairly long list... So far, I’ve experienced headaches, dry lips, nostrils, throat, and skin, as well as the odd nightly nosebleed. I burn at the slightest exposure to the sun, and my tolerance to dairy has stooped to new lows.
But to me it’s worth it, knowing that in a couple of months, I won’t have to worry about a single zit ever again, and I’ll never have to reply to a stranger’s, “What’s that on your face?” with false kindness again.
I’m not sure what can be done to help combat some of the misinformation surrounding acne.
But a little bit of kindness and understanding goes a long way. More than you might know.
Aoife Broad is a crappy vegetarian and artist based in Wellington, NZ. Follow her on Instagram @aoifebroad.
