The Little Things
By Colleen Edwards
When I reflect on life and what makes me happy, what drives me to get up in the morning, why I do the things I do, I tend to think of the big picture. I have been beyond stressed with my job, I miss my family, and I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts recently. I thought for days about what my article on happiness and finding meaning was going to be about. I have so many people in my life I could write about- and I eventually will. But for now, I’m focusing on the little things.
I left California a year ago to come to Chicago in the middle of the pandemic. I got hired to work with homeless youth and now I’m working as an Expedited Housing Associate within the homeless services system. I’m working remotely and I don’t know if I will ever go into the office. The emotional toll of my job can get overwhelming quickly. If I spend an extra hour or two working every day, it could help a few more people get off the streets faster. I lose sleep over what I could have done differently throughout my day to get certain people housed faster. The kids, the families, the lonely people… They are constantly on my mind.
Honestly though, these past few months I keep trying to pick my brain for the things that make me the happiest. The stress of my new job, not being able to interact with people in the office day to day, and changes in my life have made it difficult to see the bigger picture. I think I lost some of what I used to have. I am generally a very happy person. I have an incredible support system of family and friends. I love the people I surround myself with. But still- I’m waiting for something...
The little things… They seem to matter the most to me these days.
I always thought happiness was supposed to be this big, all-consuming thing, something that would happen and then I wouldn’t be chasing after it anymore. I would sit down one day and feel like “yeah, this is it, I’ve made it.” As things change in my life I keep wondering what I need to be doing to reach this goal, when I know I’ll have done everything right.
I’m realizing now that’s not the way life works. Humans will constantly have to balance what is good and bad in our lives. The things we value most may change from year to year. Our happiness may become a morning cup of coffee, or the way the fireflies dance in the summer.
We don’t get to choose what happens to us. But our attitude… That changes it all.
Illustration by Aoife Broad
I think 25 is the weirdest age. I don’t quite know what I should be doing, how I should be acting, am I doing enough? I fall into ruts where I don’t see people and the world the way I should. I feel pity and sorry for myself because I’m not where I want to be. I compare myself to people around me and on social media and I wonder, “what the hell am I doing?” Am I doing life right? It has taken me a very long time to realize and trust that I am exactly where I need to be, even if I don’t see that at the moment. The whole idea of trusting life to take you where you need to be was always a bullshit idea to me, but as I look back on what has happened to me and where I am now I’m starting to believe in it.
I just need to switch my mindset.
Charles R. Swindoll said, “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”
You won’t get answers for a lot of things that happen to you. They just happen. When I think about the most difficult times in my life, I realize that happiness still exists in small things. You just need to generate that new form of happiness within yourself.
When I was backpacking in Vietnam, Thailand, and New Zealand with my best friend, we made it a mission to ask people we met what was the best advice they had received in life. We wanted to know what drove people to keep going. Here are a couple of my favorite responses:
Wooth (a man we hiked through the jungle with for three days):
This is the advice I will give to you. Always remember that humans are humans. We are all the same. We are equal. Nobody should think one is better than the other. We need to be surrounded by love.”
An old British man from a trailer park:
If you have a dream, keep going. If you stop you’re not gonna get further, but even if you walk you’ll still finish. Life is like a cross-country race. Eventually, if you keep trying, you’re the only person there.
Gillain (a psychiatric nurse):
I was having a rough time with my job, it was really wearing me down. My boss told me to literally fake being happy. He told me to smile and laugh and talk to everyone for two weeks straight. At first, I really had to fake it, but after that, I was happy all the time. Psychology says behavior becomes feeling- how you behave is how you feel. It works.
Wooth found happiness in simple things. He ate corn for every meal and hiked in the jungle for a living. He was a refugee from Laos and lost most of his family in the war, but he still believed that every human being should always be surrounded by love. The Old British Man believed that anyone can do anything, even if you’re crawling, you’re still getting to the place you need to be. Gillian’s fake happiness became real happiness.
These people know that life is precious and they are grateful for it. They value the importance of love and dreams and what it means to be human.
Letting go is a different form of happiness. I have to learn to let go of things I don’t need. Letting go of an idea of what I thought my life would be. How crazy it is to think we are not in control of what happens to us... but we are in charge of the outcome. How we react. How we survive.
--My List of Little Things--
Happiness is donuts and coffee with people you love (or a good book) on a Sunday morning. It’s watching kids play tag. Hot dogs by a lake in the summer. Warm tea in the winter. Candy. Bagels with a whole lot of cream cheese.
It’s getting a hug from someone you haven’t seen in a while- that hug that feels like it should never end because nothing and everything has changed since you last saw each other. It’s looking into the eyes of the person you love and feeling safe.
Happiness is long walks by the lake and grocery shopping and sushi.
It’s finding your little home in this world even if that home is temporary. It’s finding people who look at the world the same, who look at the world differently, and having conversations that fuel your soul. Happiness is being able to wake up every morning and breathe.
Laughter. It’s laughing until your belly hurts. If you haven’t had that laugh in a while, I promise, it will come.
Happiness is mountain biking with my dad. Having tea in the backyard with my mom. Pumpkin candles. It’s the clicking of keys on a keyboard.
Happiness is human touch. Isn’t that one a bitch? I read somewhere that humans should be receiving 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs for maintenance, and 12 for growth. Everyone needs more hugs.
There is so much in this world we will never know. You will lose so many parts of yourself throughout life. You will grow, you will learn what makes you strong, you will know the people you want to hold onto. Life is going to feel like you are drowning sometimes- but fight. Fight for that next hug. Fight for the belly laughs, the coffee, the cinnamon rolls, the forgiveness, the love.
The little things are the big things.
Colleen Edwards is an American writer working within the homeless services system. She is currently based in Chicago and loves burritos.
